Photo Credit: Instagram @mariustroy
Men from other countries have always had a certain appeal for me. There’s something mysterious and sexy about a man who comes from a different culture. It’s as though a foreign man opens up a whole new undiscovered world.
A couple weeks ago, I volunteered to work a charity event at a hotel in Santa Monica. As I stepped out of my Uber, I was approached by a tall, intriguing Israeli man on the street. The attraction was instantaneous. Even though I was supposed to be working, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to have a quick vodka-soda with my new friend before heading to the party.
My Israeli friend texted me that very night, thanking me for taking the time to have a drink with him. A couple days later, he called (yes, a good old-fashioned phone call). We talked for a while–I listened as he made me laugh and told me all kinds of fascinating stories. After I expressed how interesting I thought he was, he joked, “Men with accents have better stories.” I can vouch for this theory myself.
When we went to dinner, my Israeli friend discussed how different dating in the Middle East is from dating in the United States. He confessed that he doesn’t really like to date and usually has a girlfriend. He explained that in Israel, if you go on three dates with someone, you are considered boyfriend and girlfriend. (We’ve already been on two.) He told me how in his experience, Americans will try to casualize a relationship by saying, “we’re just talking” or “we’re hanging out,” even if they’ve been sleeping together or seeing each other for months. In his opinion, he feels that Americans are afraid of commitment, and although I realize this is an overgeneralization, there definitely is some truth to the statement.
While I’ve never dated an Israeli man, I have had a couple European boyfriends: one from Germany and another from Denmark. I appreciated how there was never any uncertainty or any vague terms to describe the relationship; both men let me know almost immediately that they wanted to be with me. From my understanding, the European way is to focus on person at a time and see where the relationship goes versus the American way, which is to keep our “options open” and date multiple people at a time until someone stands out.
As a romantic, I tend I prefer the European approach to dating. I feel when you’re seeing too many people at once, it’s hard to really go deep with someone; and I want to go deep. Besides, I’ve never read a fairy tale where Prince Charming needed to keep his options open, and as far as I know, neither did any Disney princesses either.
However, not always, but I do think that in some cases more than three dates are necessary in order to determine whether or not you want to be exclusive with someone; but then again, I am an American girl, which is maybe why I got heart palpitations when a Turkish guy I had been on three dates with this summer asked me if I was his girlfriend. It seems as though men with accents have their own form of the “three-date rule.”
One year ago, I met a handsome Frenchman on my birthday. We went on a couple dates last year before I started seeing someone, and he moved to Miami. As fate would have it, my French friend recently moved back to L.A., and we’ve seen each other several times in the last month.
We had a similar conversation over dinner about how dating in France is different from dating in America. Like my Israeli friend, the Frenchman explained that people don’t really “date” in France. He went on to say that dating an American girl is like dating a computer in that you must strategize every move, including when to call. Although he texted me the day after I met him and was attentive from the start, his American friends had told him it is customary to wait three days to call. To him, it didn’t make sense to wait.
Apparently, it is not easy to get a French woman’s phone number; but if she does give a man her number, she expects him to call the very next day. If a man doesn’t call by the next day, she will be upset. When the food arrives to our table, the Frenchman explains that food is like religion to him. He adds that in France, sex comes before dinner, unlike in America where you go out to dinner, and then go home to make love. I guess it makes sense to get down before your tummy is full…isn’t it true that the French eat the entree before the salad as well?
Maybe I’m European at heart because I always preferred to eat my salad last. I must say that although I do consider myself a feminist, I think that having a Latin father has given me a bit of an old world perspective when it comes to courtship. I’ve always been one to prefer a masculine type of man who takes the lead. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be with a man who chooses to “keep his options open” and date other women when he could have been with me.
So, yes, my Israeli friend is right–men with accents do have better stories. But what is even sexier to me is that men with accents, at least the ones I’ve met, tend to know what they want and aren’t afraid to claim a woman as their own♥