More Is More

Dolly Big Hair

You’re always going to be too much for someone–too fat, too thin, too glam, too plain, too old, too young, too quiet, too loud. Recently, the guy I dated in Texas repeatedly told me I was “too blonde.” He also wished that I was more of a jeans, t-shirt, and baseball cap kind of a girl. I hardly consider myself underweight, but the Middle Eastern boyfriend I had a couple years back thought I should gain 5-10 pounds. He also suggested I cut my hair (as if!) and stop wearing makeup. Although I did wear less makeup when I would see him, I still wore as much makeup as I wanted to on my own time and definitely wasn’t about to mess with my hair or pack on the pounds.

Even my amazing long-term ex boyfriend had something he tried to change about me—he thought I dressed “too sexy.” Out of all the criticisms, his was actually valid. We had a bit of an age gap and would often have dinners with his TV writer friends. I already stood out since I was younger than everyone else—I didn’t need to draw any more attention to myself. Although I love my flirty dresses, I believe there is a time and place to cover up, and this was probably one of them.

My ex told me he was going to buy me the hottest jeans he had ever seen and scoured the city looking for a particular style of Levi’s. He eventually found them—at Mervyn’s in Glendale.

I humored him and tried on the jeans that he went to so much trouble to get me. While my ex remarked that my butt had never looked better, I felt he had bought me “mom jeans” and refused to wear them. I mean, it’s hard to believe that Mervyn’s would exclusively carry the hottest jeans in town.

My ex had more of a simple sense of style, and I’m admittedly a bit flashy. He would often tell me that I didn’t need to wear makeup and would always say, “Less is more, Amy.” I would joke, “Less is not more. MORE is MORE!”

One day, he looked at me and said, “You’re right. More is more.” And he never tried to change me again.

That being said, I do feel that if your boyfriend likes your makeup a certain way or a particular outfit, of course, it’s nice to make the man happy. However, the person whose opinion is most important is the person looking back in at you in the mirror. And once you feel good about what you see, you will attract someone who won’t want to change a single thing about you, someone who recognizes you’re perfect the way you are♥

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